US aid cuts: the Emotional Terrain of Job Loss
Guest post: How to Grieve, Accept, and Move Forward
Guest post this week from certified hope-based expert Gregory Mwendwa. This is the first of a series of posts Gregg is writing in response to US aid cuts. This extract is from his first post, you can also read the second here.
Our thoughts go out to staff and organizations dealing with this news and other challenges around the world right now.
Protect your energy & grieve !
By Gregg Mwendwa
You wake up, and for a split second, everything feels normal.
Then it hits you: like a slap that you faintly saw coming, but still catches you unawares.
Stop Work Order. Technically, you been made redundant. Just like that. Yesterday, you had plans. Strategic Plans. Work-plans. Vacation. Obligations. Loans. Routine. Today, the ground beneath your feet feels shaky.
Your mind spins...is this really happening?
Job loss is a peculiar kind of grief. Like a thief, it doesn’t announce itself with sirens or send a polite email in advance. It creeps in. Slowly dismantling your sense of security, your identity, and, if you’re not careful, your self-worth.
And here’s the truth nobody tells you; beyond loosing the pay check, you loose a rhythm, momentum, purpose, occupation, a sense of certainty.
Your email is empty. Your calendar, once full, is now empty.
No more lunches. No more dinner invites. No more travel. The entry pass is taken.
The credit card cancelled.
Loneliness.
"The day I left office, my phone literally ceased to ring".
I know this feeling too well. I’ve been through two seasons of it.
Each time, I thought I had learned enough from the last to be ready. But no. It still arrived like an unexpected guest, one who overstays their welcome and rearranges your furniture without asking.
And so, if you’re here, whether as a result of Trump's Stop Work Order, or the changing tides of the global economy, let’s talk about what comes next.
Stage One - Denial & The False Sense of Hope
At first, like many sudden instances that bring lots of grief, you convince yourself it’s probably temporary. Maybe there’s been a mistake? Maybe the funding will come through? Maybe someone will fight for us? For me? You wait.
Worse, the rumours kick in. "The can't probably do that type of thing, its even illegal" "There’s a restructuring happening, you might get a spot." These whispers keep you hanging onto a dream that isn’t real. I’ve learned the hard way that this is where conspiracy and anxiety mostly builds up. You have to protect your energy.
You sit in limbo, emotionally suspended between what was and what you hope it could be, instead of stepping forward into what is, what Ram Das calls - Be Here and Now!
Stage Two - The Self-Blame Spiral
Then comes the flood of questions: Was it me? Should I have seen this coming? Should I have taken that other job? Why didn’t I prepare better? The mind loves to ruminate on regret, as if replaying the past will miraculously change the outcome. It won’t.
Here’s what you need to know: self-blame is an illusion of control. It makes you feel like if you had done something differently, this wouldn’t have happened. But sometimes, the world moves in ways beyond your control.
Accepting frees you. Its helps you move from the problem space, into the (much needed) solution space.
Stage Three - The Grieving Ritual
This part is very important. You must grieve the loss before you move forward. I don’t mean a quick sigh and “on to the next.” I mean grieve properly....like we do when we lose a loved one. Because, in many ways, a job is a relationship. It gave you something, and now it’s gone. If you try to skip this step, you’ll carry the wound forward, unprocessed and heavy.
How you grieve is up to you. Cry, journal, walk, talk to a friend, sit under a tree and listen to the wind. Wear beach clothes for a week, as if you were on the final vacation of your job. If you need to wear a metaphorical sackcloth and mourn like our ancestors did, do it. But set a deadline.
Give yourself a clear "I will grieve fully until this date, and then I will move to what’s next."
Stage Four - Acceptance & The Next Step
The real shift happens when you accept the loss: not just intellectually, but emotionally and physically. You wake up one morning, and instead of asking
"Why did this happen?" you ask, "What do I do now?" "Where do I start?"
This is where movement begins. This is where clarity starts to form. And this is where we continue in the next article: on how to re-organize your resources, plan your next steps, and move from loss to reinvention.
For now, breathe. You’re not alone in this. You never were.
Let’s keep going.
Gregory Mwendwa is a communications strategist, trainer and facilitator. He supports organizations and activists across East Africa in designing and executing advocacy programs that promote social justice, gender equity, and economic inclusion. Connect with Gregg on LinkedIn to follow the rest of his series.
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Hope is Hard - How We Respond to Election defeat - authoritarians in power don’t just tear up the rule book, they try to change our psyche. We have to preserve compassionate values and a common interest, shared humanity mindset in these times.
I think its also important to stress that Hope is like a candle - it is precisely in the dark times when we need it. Same goes for human rights and civil society - we were designed for resistance. This is when we go to work.
On a personal level, Im working on developing tools for using "intrinsic motivation" (ie our “why”) to keep us mentally-healthy and ward off burn-out.
Hopey, changey stuff
Hope wanted! Apolitical Foundation CEO Lisa Witter posted this week about new research showing that hope is the primary need of followers worldwide.
Latest from Anat Shenker-Osorio: opinion polls don’t change policy: that also means we should stop being afraid of asking for things other people tell us are unpopular.
“Sometimes, the first move you make is wildly unpopular. But doing it doesn’t merely move you toward your goal, it alters the majority public opinion many Democrats are so feverishly chasing. Actions shift how people perceive what is occurring — what is at stake, who are the villains, victims, and heroes — and which issues are most salient to consider next time people vote.”
Quote of the week
“This is how we heal. This is how we prevail.
By doing the work.
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